Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Woolworths Customer Trampled in Stampede
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UnNews:Woolworths Customer Trampled in Stampede[edit source]
PoorNUnknown 14:25, 30 November 2008 (UTC)
Humour: | 5 | Some pretty funny stuff here, but I'd find it funnier if it looked more like news. For example, what's the name of the guy who was killed? Things I found funny: "Landfill View", "Martin Flogworthy", "poor personnel management", "Chantelle", and "imprisonment facilities" (good one). Things I didn't funny: "minced meat" (might work better if it is revealed later in the article, not right at the beginning), the witness testimony (could be more stupid). Some dumb comments from the "authorities" (police, etc.) are always welcome, as well as a few remarks from the victims wife/family (maybe they're secretly happy that he's dead). |
Concept: | 8 | Random death is always a good subject matter. |
Prose and formatting: | 7 | Good, though it could use more names, addresses and specific information to make it look more like "news". I think referring to customers as "congenial idiots" might be funnier if it's part of someone's quote, rather than the tone of the newscaster. |
Images: | 8 | I know the image of the guy with his dick in the tailpipe, but it's always funny to see it. |
Miscellaneous: | 7 | (Averaged) |
Final Score: | 35 | Worth working on. |
Reviewer: | AdrianMarcato 07:00, 1 December 2008 (UTC) |