Might need pictures, might not. Anyway, any criticism would be helpful--TimJohN 00:56, 11 November 2007 (UTC)
- Added a pic I made. hope it makes it a bit better.--TimJohN 01:32, 11 November 2007 (UTC)
Got it. -Razorflame 
(contributions) Talk 01:02, 11 November 2007 (UTC)
- GREAT review, btw - Le Cejak • <-> 02:03, 11 November 2007 (UTC)
| Humour:
|
7.8
|
Good for the most part. In the first half, it needs work. In the second half, it works.
- P1-(5): Needs a bit of work. There were some funny lines (student Mak Intosh), but the second half of it felt dry. Maybe add a bit more humour?
- P2-(6): Better, but the first half of this paragraph felt dry. The second half was very nice and made me laugh throughout.
- P3-(10): Very nice humour here. Maybe a picture or 2 here would be nice? Made me laugh out loud very often.
- P4-(10): Again, very nice humour here. A picture would work wonders here.
- Score is the average of these 4 scores.
|
| Concept:
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9.3
|
Very good content for the most part.
- P1-(8): Could use a bit of explination maybe? Maybe you could expand this a bit?
- P2-(9): Could use an expansion (just a little). Other than that, good.
- P3-(10): Good content. Made me laugh the most.
- P4-(10): Good content. Made me laugh a lot.
- Score is average of these 4 scores.
|
| Prose and formatting:
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8.3
|
Good prose, but I get lost while reading it a bit.
- P1-(8): Flow is a little choppy here. Readability is good. I think that if you could improve the flow here, that you would easily be able to make this section funnier.
- P2-(6): I got lost about halfway through this paragraph. The flow is nice, but the readability isn't. All those numbers aren't very good for the uneducated.
- P3-(10): Very nice here. Leave this paragraph alone :).
- P4-(9): Just need to make the description in the first part of the paragraph flow nicer. Other than that, good paragraph.
- Score is the average of these 4 scores.
|
| Images:
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0
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No images. Not good. This article would be MUCH funnier if it had images.
|
| Miscellaneous:
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6.4
|
Average of 4 scores above.
|
| Final Score:
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31.8
|
Fix the areas that I have detailed above. This is a very nice concept and article, just needs a few kinks to be worked out.
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| Reviewer:
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-Razorflame (contributions) Talk 01:19, 11 November 2007 (UTC)
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(contributions) Talk 01:02, 11 November 2007 (UTC)