Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/UnNews:Cheney gets attacked by Quails
UnNews:Cheney gets attacked by Quails[edit source]
Please let me know how well I did on this UnNews! I tried really hard to make it good! Let me know how well I did...-Razorflame
(contributions)
Talk 01:24, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
- I got this one. -- • <-> 05:08, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
- Cheney joke? I'm gonna be fairly brutal on this one.
Do you really think that there is no way to salvage this article? -Razorflame (contributions)
Talk 14:33, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
- Well, you know how scientific I am about these things. This article is really short. I suppose any article could be salvaged. You could always put it up for review again. -- • <-> 14:40, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
| Humour: | 4.5 | *1st half (4)
Section ended with ""All I could see was Cheney and a whole shitload of quail surrounding him."" Uh, that was very poorly written, lol. It's not the grammar or anything it's the nitty gritty stuff. Get rid of those "and then"s, make the exposition smoother, stop repeating the names of people (Cheney said that Cheney...). So far, you didn't tell any real jokes, just that one about the beer pong.
This also was done in the same technically bad style that the first section was done in. You really need to clean it up and add more content. This is too short to be funny! Seriously! |
| Concept: | 4 | Bush jokes are rampant here, Cheney jokes a little less so but still. The concept of a Cheney hunting joke is extremely dry. It would be hard for anybody, including Uncyc veterans, to make a funny article based on this. |
| Prose and formatting: | 2 | This is a fairly ugly page that is also badly written in terms of syntax. It needs to be cleaned up. This is an encouragement to work on your writing, Razor. |
| Images: | 6 | nearly adequate. |
| Miscellaneous: | 4.1 | avg'd |
| Final Score: | 20.6 | This article is not up to snuff. When I first started here, my articles were also crap. I don't think that this is salvageable because you probably whipped it up too damn fast. Keep trying, buddy. |
| Reviewer: | • <-> 05:24, 9 November 2007 (UTC) | |