Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Thinking outside the box
Thinking outside the box[edit source]
One of my older articles, which means it's not quite the PuppyOnTheRadio style of today, so I think I need a little help to revisit and polish it. Pup
I'm reading through it now. Hoping to have the review done tonight. SuperBario 19:40, December 2, 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 6 | I think the humour in some of this is great but really needs further expansion. First of all, the British "Outside the square thing"....I really don't know what that is supposed to mean. If there is a point behind it, I think you need to make it clearer. If not, I do realise that it leads to the other versions, but I think something at least relevent would be of further use.
The Australian version involving beer I like, but I think you could go further with it. Maybe some sort of description about how this is meant to be different to to how they usually think, sarcastically or otherwise would not go amiss. |
| Concept: | 7 | Concept is good, but could definitely be expanded. The constant use of trademarked ideas is rather appealing, but the first thing that really grabbed my attention in the article was the idea of "being told what to think". All of us who know anything about society are aware that we are always being told how to think by the state and the corporations, and this article could definitely benefit from more of this idea. This could also lead into even more about how there are no real "original" ideas allowed. I see that you are already suggesting this anyway, but I would, personally, like to see more of that. |
| Prose and formatting: | 5 | I think this gets a little confusing that the "Nine Dots Puzzle" image appears at the beginning rather than alongside the first mention of the puzzle in the article. The idea of the puzzle itself is good, but it definitely suffers from the poor placement. Also, you mention it as just "The puzzle" in the "Walt Disney", without referring to it as the "Nine Dots Puzzle."
There was also a missing letter in the "Walt Disney" section, but I have corrected this (Typo probably). |
| Images: | 5 | This would gain a couple of points, but the "solution" gif doesn't seem to work properly (At least not on my PC). It does work fine when I visit the link to the image itself, otherwise I wouldn't have realised it was animated.
Also, the mention of Columbus on the other picture seemed confusing until I checked out the Wikipedia article. It would probably be a good idea to either change the image caption or write something into the article itself to correct it. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6.5 | My overall score of the article. |
| Final Score: | 29.5 | I really like the concept of this and, like you, I would love to see it improved. I hope my comments will be of some help, but if you do want any of my points clarifying, just let me know. |
| Reviewer: | SuperBario 22:17, December 2, 2009 (UTC) | |