Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Solvent (2st not to-to, but quite-quite major rewrite)
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Solvent [edit source]
silicson 16:23, 24 March 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 4 | Well, it seems you started off with a good idea, but then you basically drifted off into randomness. Throughout the rest of the article, I had no clue as to what direction you were going with this. If you want to make your article funny, you need to give it a consistent, straightforward style-I.E., make the introduction sound like the article. |
| Concept: | 5 | I had never known was Solvent is, and it appears in this article you want Solvent to be someone who fixes other people's problems. It's a decent concept, but the lack of direction hurts it terribly. Am I the Solvent? Is the narrator the Solvent? Are you writing an article about a Solvent? The changing of styles doesn't do very good for the concept, as it becomes a jumbled mess. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Relatively painless. However, there are a few things that were out of place. Prose wise, you occasionally forgot to space your comments, and there are a few spelling errors. As for formatting, the last few images in your article look kind of bundled up, which makes the article look messy. I recommend you spread your images out into other sections- for example, take out an image at the bottom, and insert a few in the "The History of Solvents" sub-sections. Articles are easier to read when images and text stand together, as opposed to walls of text. |
| Images: | 4 | The "Problem Solved" image was mildly amusing, but the rest of them are about as random as the rest of the article. Again, you need to find a solid direction, and then insert images to spice up your writing. For example, if you decide to make an encyclopedia entry about Solvents, post images of people who help others out, I.E. Bono. |
| Miscellaneous: | 5 | Overall grade of the article. |
| Final Score: | 24 | Basically, the problem with your concept and execution is that you have 2 or 3 of them. You need to give your article a persistent, humorous style. If you're going to right an article about people that are famous solvents, than you need to eliminate first person perspective- I.E. "The secret of our existence is revealed" to "The secret of their existence was revealed". Also, scan over your article for spelling and puncutation errors. Finally, rearrange your images, maybe add a few more so they look less cluttered. You might want to get rid of the Oscar Wilde and Jesus quotes- Uncyclopedians are tired of those cliches. You've got an original concept- all it needs is a smooth execution and the right humor. Good luck! |
| Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 13:11, 2 May 2009 (UTC) | |