Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Howto:Interrupt Serious News Broadcasts
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Howto:Interrupt Serious News Broadcasts[edit source]
ChiefjusticeDS 22:06, 30 June 2009 (UTC) I expanded this article and would like some feedback from all you wonderful people as to the state of it now. Please don't criticise it by saying "OMG ITZ SO CRAP". Tell me why it sucks if that's what you think.
Thanks for the feedback Saberwolf116, will try and improve in the ways you have outlined, thanks again for taking the time.
| Humour: | 5 | Ok, I think you've got an interesting article, but right now it's pretty rough. The trick to making a good HowTo is to make your instructions seem probable to follow, but also extremely stupid. You also need to not be so bult with your punchlines. Instead of making your instructions so obvious and stupid, try to be a bit more subtle with your humor. A good example of this is HowTo:Become Stupid in 21 days. Notice how the author is clearly implying that the reader is an idiot, yet the article's instructions are not exactly "hit you in the face" kind of funny? That's the kind of direction you need to establish for your article. Something along the lines of Hey there, <insert name here>. Feeling a bit implusive? Looking to impression your girlfriend? Then why not... try to sound patronizing without sounding obvious. |
| Concept: | 7 | You've got a flexible concept which can be made into a solid article. However, you need to make sure you have the right tone and execution. You switch from 1st to 3rd person a lot throughout the article, and you typically should have only one. Saying something like "in 1826, Cowboy John moved to Arkansas. Didn't you know that? Idiot." is unprofessional, and breaks the tone of the article. I'd recommend you stay consistent throughout the article, and either narrate it in 1st person or stick to a straightfoward, third-person encyclopedic perspective. |
| Prose and formatting: | 4 | You've got 2 big problems. First, there are a lot of spelling errors. I'd recommend you put this through UN:PS or proofread it yourself, as there are also some grammatical mistakes. The second problem is that you don't have enough images when compared to the amount of text. I'd recommend reducing the size of some of your sections, as well as adding a few images in some of them (speaking of which, the image you have right now is a bit too big, do you think you could reduce the size of it?) |
| Images: | 6 | You've got one image right now, and although it's mildly amusing, I think you could do a lot better. Like I said above, you need about2 or 3 more images to make your article right. A few I can think of off the top of my head are a guy streaking at a baseball game, someone flipping off a TV camera crew, or a stillshot from that video of that guy stealing a TV mike. These are just some ideas, so try to keep an open mind. |
| Miscellaneous: | 5 | My overall grade of the article. |
| Final Score: | 27 | You've got an interesting article with a promising concept, but right now you still need to work on it some more. Like I said above, make sure you look over this so that your English and such is right, as well as making sure you've got your style right. I know this review wasn't very positive, but I encourage you to keep working on this- it could be a great article if you fix it up right.
Bottom Line: Fix up your grammar and formatting, and keep your tone consistent throughout. Good Luck! =) |
| Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 02:59, 1 July 2009 (UTC) | |