Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Golden Raspberry Awards
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Golden Raspberry Awards[edit source]
Hello, person(s)! This is my first article. I put some effort into this so... whaddaya think?
Edited one of the many millions of Adams 13:45, August 17, 2010 (UTC)
| Humour: | 4 | Okay, do not perceive me wrongly; I love a good toilet joke or two. However, I thought that this article relied far too heavily on crude humor. The funniest articles on Uncyclopedia are those whose authors can successfully emulate a serious tone (akin to Wikipedia) while satirizing the bejeezus out of it. You had a few funny jokes such as the reference to the ad breaks. Perhaps you could elaborate there, seeing as it is a strong point in the article. The story behind the awards' conception is a tad convoluted, which prevents it from being truly comedic. Surely nonsensical humor can be funny, but you should at least make it flow. The story seems to jump all over the place without really explaining where the awards came from. Lastly, I was not a huge fan of the awards list. For instance, why did Optimus Prime win an award for worst penis? Perhaps you could make it funnier by giving the award to Ron Jeremy or Santonio Holmes to list a few (the humor in that both men are well-endowed). |
| Concept: | 8 | While the humor on your first try is a tad dry, you picked a great concept for an article. The best part about that is the extensive framework you have to work with. This topic has the potential to be a gold-mine of humor, but you have to find the best hilarity to mine comedic gold; otherwise you'll be taking out a load of worthless granite. I trust that with some elaboration and re-writing that you will be able to pump out a decent article. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | Your grammar is decent, but far from perfect. You are guilty of a few run-on sentences, and we all know run-on sentences can often times kill jokes seeing as they drag things out way too long, and they are not the best way to pack information into a sentence despite popular belief, which seems to think that they are appropriate for doing so. I think you understand my point.
On the other hand, you also used many simple sentences that can be combined. I'll leave the corrections up to you, seeing as you seem to understand grammar well enough to know how to go about enhancing your article. |
| Images: | 3 | You only have three images, and one of them seems to make no sense. A viking? Why the viking? I think you would be wise to remove that picture and add some that are a tad more related to the topic at hand. |
| Miscellaneous: | 5.3 | This article is your first, so do not expect to perform perfectly. Also, do not fret over the numbers: they are far too subjective to become hung up on. |
| Final Score: | 26.3 | As I said, the first article is most always doomed to be the worst. However, do not give up on the article. I am confident that you can improve the humor within it. Your best bet will be to expand some of the skinnier sections (such as the reward recipients) and improve the tone/prose a tad. I'll make sure to follow your article and provide insight if you ever ask for some. Keep it up, and remember that it's all uphill from here. |
| Reviewer: | S3ahawk 18:06, August 17, 2010 (UTC) | |