Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Fax

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Fax

Humour:	6	Some good moments: "a fax is a plastic box containing wires and circuits assembled in a chaotic way, which enables it to malfunction in the most creative ways" - this line really captures the average person's frustration, because it describes the stupid machine precisely as it seems to them. "a wire...over which many unhappy users have tripped, enhancing the annoying effect of the machine" - The ironic use of "enhancing" is great, because advertising uses such words, so "enhancing the annoying effect" mocks the sales pitch. I laughed because I've tripped over #%&!!@ wires too many times. "Using a fax machine is, in theory, a simple affair. One puts the document in the paper input, let the machine scan the document, type the recipient's number and wait for the bleeping to stop." - Like the others, the humour is how you echo people's experience both in frustration and in not understanding why the stupid thing acts like it does ("bleeping" is the lay term for whatever the technicians call it). My main criticism is that in places you are too obvious. Using the word "moron" several times is overly blunt, and using the idea of stupidity too much begins to lose any humourous effect. "...and so those high pitched bleeps are useless" - you could probably leave this kind of sentence out, because it's too plain; or embellish it, like: "the high-pitched bleeps are about as easy to decipher as the smudges that the machine churnes out." "...make people want to commit murder or suicide." - something less mundane and more creative such as "make people want to dive out 15th-storey windows with dozens of fax machines tied to them, to free both themselves and others from the aggravating schreeeeeeeeeech."
Concept:	8	It's a great idea, making fun of not only faxes, but really all the stupid machines we can't figure out.
Prose and formatting:	6	Formatted properly, though some of the sections are short - expand or merge into other headings. Occasional problems with spelling (e.g., it's - "it is" its - possessive). Needs one or more categories at the bottom. e.g.: Category:Machines (in square brackets).
Images:	0	A few pictures with good captions would really help. Usually you can download some from Wikipedia. Use Upload File on the left of the page, and check for copyright status.
Miscellaneous:	6	Not much to add.
Final Score:	26	Good effort on what appears to be your first article.
Reviewer:	Slithy Tove 05:14, 5 June 2007 (UTC)