Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Burt Ward
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This is my first real article. Think of it what you will but I would appreciate advice.
Burt Ward[edit source]
| Humour: | 6 | Starts slow but gets funnier further down the page. I liked the Mexican Angels assuming he must be important because he was being carried, Morgan Freeman being God, and that he still sits around in his Robin costume as if he just can't get past the role he was famous for. Likewise, "holy conundrum Batman!" is the perfect response to God, given that Ward doesn't really understand anything except being Robin.
I think you should re-do the opening paragraph. I don't really get why Ward keeps attacking Batman - maybe if you related it to his role as Robin? Also leave out stuff that is just narrative but not humourous (e.g., the paragraph "After Ward was taken for the day...convinced them to let Ward stay"). Have Ward say something funnier at his death than "I'm sorry my love" - also, I'm wondering after he came back to life did he meet her again? Finally, avoid unnecessary non-funny details such as Ward's being schizophrenic - just detracts from the article. |
| Concept: | 7 | A fairly good idea, having Robin a bit of a off-the-wall depressive type. If he's jealous of being second-rate to Batman, that's good but didn't come across clearly enough. |
| Prose and formatting: | 7 | You've used the sections well, I liked how you moved from "Life After Death" to "Life After The Return to Life" etc. I'm not sure about the list at the end; maybe incorporate some of the "holies" into the article. |
| Images: | 2 | Maybe more photos? Use a better caption, maybe something funny about Robin being jealous of always being second to Batman. |
| Miscellaneous: | 6 | Good first effort, could be quite good if you work on it. |
| Final Score: | 28 | |
| Reviewer: | Slithy Tove 07:11, 9 June 2007 (UTC) | |