Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/October 23
In a series of declassified documents containing accounts of wars, rumors of wars, and battles that have no victors or defeated opponents or worldwide destruction that can be defined by any costs or empires captured, there's a hearty bunch of terrified witnesses to the fact that Cthulhu was a main concern for the multibillionaire corporation known as the Government of the United States. While there does seem to be a list of who was involved directly in the dismantling of the beast known as Mister Squid Face, it's unclear how many from the corporation of the United States had been assigned the task of the impossible conquest to take down an ancient Slime Lord that's been nothing but trouble.
“I have harnessed the shadows that stride from world to world to sow death and madness.”
“I could not help feeling that they were evil things. Mountains of madness whose farther slopes looked out over some accursed ultimate abyss. That seething, half-luminous cloud-background held ineffable suggestions of a vague, ethereal beyondness far more than terrestrially spatial; and gave appalling reminders of the utter remoteness, separateness, desolation, and aeon-long death of this untrodden and unfathomed austral world.”
“Only poetry or madness could do justice to the noises.”