Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/November 21

*Most hardcore theme song ever resonates in a jammed-packed arena full of noisy hillbilly drunkards, and two overly excited commentators begin their thing*

Jim Ross: Welcome to Wrestlemania 87 ladies and gentlemen!! What an amazing main event we have for you tonight, a No-Holds-Barred, No Ice Cream, No Machine gun match between the Croc and Phone Cord Steve Austin for the Undisputed WWE title. I'm all wet King, how about you?

Jerry "The King" Lawler: Same here JR. This promises to be the hardcorest match we have witnessed since about a week or so ago. I hear the special referee will be none other than Vince MoonMan, the owner of this company. Strap on your diapers, for the action is about to start.

*Music hits, 87 year old, 278 pounds of muscle Vince MoonMan walks down the aisle while looking at the crowd smugly, dressed in a referee's shirt and Calvin Klein boxers*

J.R.: And here comes Mr. MoonMan in all his glory, hellbent on removing the title from Phone Cord. I like his glutes' definition. We're awaiting the Cr...

*Overwhelming music interrupts J.R., with the lyrics: "The Croc says... Know your hole... And stuff your mouth." The Croc enters the ring under a thunder of boos*

King: Well this crowd is definitely not liking the Croc's latest molestation of a 6 year old boy we showed on Slack Down last week eh? Listen to them. I hope Phone Cord is in shape and not too twisted. (Full article...)