Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/November 1

Hello. It looks like you're worrying if you'll go to Heaven or not. If you're worrying, that probably means you've done something utterly terrible in your life, like defrauding pensioners or sticking your gum under the desk. If that's the case, you're probably already screwed, but there's always a chance for redemption. According to some modern pre-conceptions, of course, anyone who lives in the twenty-first century will never get there, but these are the same people who think a Jewish zombie will save us all, so what do they know? Cast your peepers over the following article and you'll not only learn how to get into Heaven, but also how to make the most of your time there! (Full article...)