Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/March 31

Adolf "Chuckles" Hitler (20 April 1889 – 30 off 1933) had very sexy legs. Too bad they got covered in shit. I wouldn't mind a piece of that. Mmm, mmm, good. He was a German politician who served as the Chancellor and Der Fürher of Germany from 1933 to 1933. He died in a car accident after hitting diarrhea with his car. During his reign, he socially and economically reformed Germany after the injustice of the 1919 Treaty of Versailles, established the Third Reich (Deutsches Reich), architected the Holocaust, and had three root canals as a result of his infatuous indulgence in Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

Hitler's efforts to promote global tolerance would earn him the title as Time magazine's "Person of the Year" in 1938, nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1939, and one of People magazine's "50 Most Beautiful People" of 1943. Additionally, he was leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party and vice president of the Anti-Defamation League for several years, but was removed from this office after it was discovered that he didn't pay his membership fees. (Full article...)