Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/March 3

Hello fellow lawn mower enthusiasts! I see you've got a new lawn mower there. Is that a Black & Decker 36V 19" Self-Propelled Rechargeable Mower with Removable Battery, model number SPCM1936? I thought so! You're a lucky man! Now, if I'm not mistaken, that means you you no longer have to worry about accidental starts, as every model comes with a safety key; can adjust the hight with just one touch and can always enjoy it's lightweight high impact polymer deck, am I correct? I knew it! I told you I knew my mowers.

Say, you ever wondered where those there babes came from? Or who their ancestors were? Haven't you ever wanted to know what started this whole lawn mower craze, anyway? Well I hope you're good and curious, because it's time to discover how grass and grass-like surfaces would never be the same again in this edition of the only lawn mower article on Uncyclopedia. (Full article...)