Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/July 5

tap tap

Is this thing on?

tap tap

I told the shmendriks in logistics to make sure everything is prepared before I start this part.

HELLO? CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?

waves of feedback from the speakers, congregation cringes

Tekiah Gedolah!

feedback like a shofar, congregation laughs

Ah! So those shlimazels can actually do something for once. Since they didn't manage to block the credit crunch, I lost faith in them.

congregation giggles

So, chevralach, thank you all for coming for this pre-Shabbat get together of the congregation. I'd especially like to thank Mrs. Rubinstein for preparing all the lovely krepalach for the meeting. Thank you Rebecca, much appreciated. (Full article...)