Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/July 21

A pizza a day keeps the doctor away. Yes, pizza is the healthiest food known to man on the face of this earth. In Murka, pizza is considered a vegetable. Eating it daily keeps the doctor away. At first GodJesus threw pizza down on people as manna from the heavens, to make them healthy and keep them lording it over everything. Then later he let people talk to each other and think up how to make pizza, so now they have their hands on deep dish and thin crust.

You know at least one thing already, from your hard-won life experience: If you put cheese on anything round and flat you can call it pizza. Even a paper cutout that is round and flat, if it is covered with cheese, then it is pizza.

Why if you eat pizza the doctor will stay away? It's the garlic, tomatoes, and cheese.

The end. (Full article...)