Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/December 29

Act 1 – Is you is, or is you ain’t my baby?

[It is Nazareth in the 10th year of Herod's reign, legionaries march through the streets, Pharisees oversee the moral instruction of the village while Sadducees search for a job description to let them know what they were meant to be doing. A council flat in a bad part of town.]

[A bearded man in a sports robe and chunky chain fingers his sovereign ring anxiously. A woman sits watching television, calmly rolling a cigarette between fingers tattooed with the words LOVE and HATE.]

Madonna: Quick, Joe. The executions are startin’ again, you're missin’ it.

Joe: Don't care, reality TV sucks. Anyway, I don't like executions any more, when did we last see a decent stoning? It's the bloody Romans I blame, coming over here and straightening our roads.

Madonna: Ah, don't let the crucifixions make you cross, Joe. There's bound to be a smiting on in a minute.

Joe: It's not the crucifying, Madge. I’ve gotta go to bloody Bethlehem tomorrow and you know how I hate all those big city types. (Full article...)