Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/April 25

War is a term used to describe what happens when two opposing forces want either the same thing or contradicting things, thus leading to tons of shit blowing up. War is also one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, along with Elmer Layden, Jim Crowley, and Harry Stuhldreher (or maybe that's something else). Anyway, many people consider war to be evil and unnecessary, yet when the pros and cons are analyzed this claim falls flat.

First of all, as more and more soldiers go off to fight whoever the enemy might be for the moment, they leave their jobs behind – and that means more jobs for you! Let's say that the salesman in the cubicle next to you with the $2,000 monthly salary leaves work to go fight the Arabs in Afghanistan. Suddenly, you're sitting in that cubicle making $2,000 a month! Not to mention that the war industry will provide you with employment if you get fired. Or, if you want to be righteous, you could go fight in the war yourself. (Most armies offer a pretty damn good dental plan.) (Full article...)