UnTunes:Masturbation Rhapsody

This isn't real life

This is just fantasy

Gonna have a good time

Take a break from reality

Gonna close my eyes

Look into my mind and see

There's that chick from the movie, now time to make believe

Easy now, down my pants

Little up, then down again

Any way you judge me, doesn't really matter to me

Darlin' it's time to bang

I've spent too long staying real

Now I think it's time for me

To fondle you, and to dream your smile

As you giggle and give me the sexual high

Darlin', ooh!

Didn't mean to objectify,

But if you come back in my dreams tomorrow

I'll carry on, carry on, cause you are all that matters

Oh yeah, now that's the stuff

But too bad I've wet my pants,

Now I've got to wash my hands

To the bathroom, is where now I'll go

Leave the dream behind and live the boring truth

Darlin', ooh!

With you there by my side

I'll never need an actual girl at all!

(Guitar Solo, followed by that piano thing)

I see another jerk fantasize about me

O my Maiden O my Maiden, just report him to the cops!

But jacking off's not illegal

Just very annoying to me

(Marco Polo) Marco Polo

(Marco Polo) Marco Polo

(Smoky-smoky) Smoky-smoky

Injurious to health!

I'm a huge fan of yours, would you kindly love me?

He's a huge fan of yours and does look quite lovely

Spice up his life with your dazzling appeal

Here I come, please don't go, will you fall in love with me?

Oh, come on! Not like I have a choice!

(Have a choice!) Come on! Not like I have a choice!

(Have a choice!) Come on! Not like I have a choice!

(Have a choice!) Like I have a choice!

(Have a choice!) Like I have a choice!

Like I ever really had a goddamn choice!

Mamma mia, mamma mia, you don't have to be so blunt!

Just go ahead and get this over with, over with, over with!

(Guitar Solo No 2)

So you think you can have me just cause you have hands?

So you think I'll just give in to all your demands?

Oh baby, I don't even know you baby

In real life, the best you can do is like me on Facebook

(Doo-Wop, Do-do-do-do-Wop!)

It doesn't really matter

It's all fantasy

Doesn't matter to anybody

But me

(Go ahead and judge me)