UnTunes:Masturbation Rhapsody

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This isn't real life
This is just fantasy
Gonna have a good time
Take a break from reality
Gonna close my eyes
Look into my mind and see
There's that chick from the movie, now time to make believe
Easy now, down my pants
Little up, then down again
Any way you judge me, doesn't really matter to me
Darlin' it's time to bang
I've spent too long staying real
Now I think it's time for me
To fondle you, and to dream your smile
As you giggle and give me the sexual high
Darlin', ooh!
Didn't mean to objectify,
But if you come back in my dreams tomorrow
I'll carry on, carry on, cause you are all that matters
Oh yeah, now that's the stuff
But too bad I've wet my pants,
Now I've got to wash my hands
To the bathroom, is where now I'll go
Leave the dream behind and live the boring truth
Darlin', ooh!
With you there by my side
I'll never need an actual girl at all!

(Guitar Solo, followed by that piano thing)

I see another jerk fantasize about me
O my Maiden O my Maiden, just report him to the cops!
But jacking off's not illegal
Just very annoying to me
(Marco Polo) Marco Polo
(Marco Polo) Marco Polo
(Smoky-smoky) Smoky-smoky
Injurious to health!
I'm a huge fan of yours, would you kindly love me?
He's a huge fan of yours and does look quite lovely
Spice up his life with your dazzling appeal
Here I come, please don't go, will you fall in love with me?
Oh, come on! Not like I have a choice!
(Have a choice!) Come on! Not like I have a choice!
(Have a choice!) Come on! Not like I have a choice!
(Have a choice!) Like I have a choice!
(Have a choice!) Like I have a choice!
Like I ever really had a goddamn choice!
Mamma mia, mamma mia, you don't have to be so blunt!
Just go ahead and get this over with, over with, over with!

(Guitar Solo No 2)

So you think you can have me just cause you have hands?
So you think I'll just give in to all your demands?
Oh baby, I don't even know you baby
In real life, the best you can do is like me on Facebook

(Doo-Wop, Do-do-do-do-Wop!)

It doesn't really matter
It's all fantasy
Doesn't matter to anybody
But me

(Go ahead and judge me)