UnPoetia:My Worst Cigar
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Poetry for people who hate poetry |
Twas the days I masturbated,
Fur all the little buns,
Was seen fur all they had been' castrated,
Durin' the sinking west Sun,
And in safe seclusion,
I picked up a tiny jar,
It had a How to be funny and not just stupid guide,
Ánd beside it stood My Worst Cigar!
It was my worst cigar!
Cos' it did not produce smoke!
Damn it.How do I look cool now?
Ah, but that was jus' the starting,
I suddenly grew wings and flew!
The wings vaporised and I fell down!I started limping.
The cigar I could have threw!
But sh*t, of course I could'nt!
Because I have been paralyzed, you moron.
Grim hung onto my penis,
Cos' I smoked my worst cigar!
It was my worst cigar!
It weighed 0.01 gram!
That did not rhyme-
Shut up, Sam,
It was goin' for the worst,
Cos' my mother came,
And, oh what could produce cream,
When she slapped my mouth and screamed.
What the hell have you ate?
Nothing of course, it seemed.
It was my worst cigar!
Cos' of it, I grew wings!
Thats not to be laughed at.
My penis doubled in size.
Thats not funny!
Since then, I bought a frying pan,
To remind myself' of what I did,
Although once my arm got stuck to the lid,
And oh, so horrible did it go.
And t'ough it helped me undergo puberty,
I will hate My Worst Cigar.