UnPoetia:A Barbecue to Remember

Poetry for people who hate poetry

A Barbeque to Remember

Picture the Scene, the birth of July

Arriving at Ian's under a tropical sky

Where at the end of a week, the proud and the few

Can assemble as one at my freinds Barbeque

But someone's arrived, arrived one hour late

It's my next-door neighbour, the smug one I hate

-One Hour In-

Look at him smirk, as if he is superior

My house is better, with a bigger interior

He's arrived in a shirt, in his twelve-year-old jeep

Wearing an aftershave made to send young girls to sleep

The fat old prick, he ate all the pies

The pork and the ribs, the burger and fries

Well there goes the kicked-back Friday

Because that rotund arsehole's finished off the bouffet

-Two Hours In-

I need to find Ian, for a good explanation

Something at least to ease my frustration

I find him and ask, 'Was this your idea?'

He says, 'I knew not he was going to be here.'

I say, 'Thanks Ian, that's a good explanation'

He said, 'Don't blame me, he's got no invitation.'

-He spots Me-

He emerges from the kitchen, locked on to my presence

He approaches and I choke on his putrid essence

He says something about a new boat he had bought

'They could use him as Anchor,' I miserably thought

He asks, 'George, why am I not in your Novel?'

You are not interesting, neither you nor your hovel

I shout, 'Oh I just haven't found time'

'To put you in it, good neighbour of mine'

He says, 'Well wouldn't you know it, I'm writing one too.'

'It features an ugly old wizard, I based him on you'

Walking off chuckling, like a true obese

Stopping to flirt with Ian's niece

What's there to do? I stand there fuming

Wherever I go he's always there looming

Well I shall be passive no more

I grab a sandwich and head to the door

-Outside-

I find his jeep, parked behind mine

Parked in a way that deserved a fine

Next to my car it was dangerously near

I got a sneaking suspicion he followed me here

Rummaging around I find my keys

Jangling happily along with the breeze

As for the barbeque, I'll have one next week

I thought as I began to key his jeep

I turned and marvelled at the plan I had hatched

It wasn't the jeep, it was his pride that I'd scratched

I turned with triumph, the day brimmed with glory

I said, 'Fucker try putting That in your story.

-Little Doll-

Watching... *blah blah*

Wanting... *blah blah*

Desire... *blah blah*

Tiny soft lips uttering words un-known

I can sit here and dream

That I find her alone...

Then drag her to darkness

...and have my way

Feel her suffer

Then throw her away :D