UnNews:Woolworths Unveil $9 Lettuce, Calls It A "Luxury Item"
Wednesday, September 3, 2025
AUSTRALIA
Shoppers have been left stunned this week as Woolworths had begun slowly rolling out a new "luxury" lettuce item. For the price of AU$9.00, shoppers could buy a hand-picked batch of lettuce with a little bow on it.
"Okay, now they're just taking the piss right?" said one concerned shopper.
"I HAVE GONE INTO DEBT BECAUSE OF THIS, I WANT THE UNDERPAID WORKER WHO MADE THIS TO SEND ME A 1K WORD APOLOGY WITH TEARS CLEARLY VISIBLE ON THE PAPER, BY THE END OF TONIGHT. I AM GOING TO FUCKING STAB SOME CUNT I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!" said a local food reviewer.
A spokesperson had defended the item on behalf of Woolworths saying that "This was handpicked and wrapped by our extremely underpaid workers; therefore, this is worth every cent."
More to come at 6pm.
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