UnNews:US overwhelmed by gun-toting married homosexuals

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Sunday, June 28, 2015

The South Carolina Capitol bathed in Saturday sun.

The last bastions of heterosexuality in the US were overcome yesterday, as gun-toting married homosexuals swept across the land, enforcing a rather camp form of martial law.

Under the constitution of the "US of Gay", the following acts were approved:

  • All Confederate flags in the south are to be replaced by Rainbow flags. The first flag to be changed, was, symbolically, that of the South Carolina Capitol.
  • In the future, Confederate flags may not be sold, except on the black market (a form of affirmative action).
  • Anyone partaking in any form of racial hate crime will be made to attend a "de-programming course" led by a big. well-hung muscular black man named Leroy.
  • Gun control: only homosexual Americans are allowed to buy and possess firearms. All gun owners will have to pass a rigorous course, proving their responsible gunmanship and flagrant homosexuality.
  • Obamacare: citizens found complaining about the Affordable Care Act will instantly have their health insurance revoked and be promptly shot in the genitals.
  • All tax levies on moisturisers are to be removed.

Conservative chain-rattler Rush Limbaugh told UnNews: " Oh my God. We finally really did it. You Maniacs! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"