UnNews:Sub-Prime Rib served to FLA home owner

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

1 March 2008

Too chewy.

Rotunda, FL Convinced that he would be forever riding the gravy train due to his property's relatively close proximity to endless beaches, Disneyland and the nation's supply of crocodiles, Georgio Hickerton Jr. the 5th expressed his disbelief today regarding the inadequate rib steak he was served for dinner tonight.

"I chewed, and right away I knew this meat was all gristle." Georgio, otherwise known as "G-Unit" explained, "So I chucked it out back for the crocodiles. But pretty soon, after my second rib steak turned out the same way I knew I was onto sumptin'"

Checking into the source of today's rib steaks, G-Unit quickly discovered that poverty had driven him to slay, deep-freeze and attempt to methodically devour his neighbors.

"Weird," commented his Mom, "We've been eating those for weeks and he hasn't complained until now."

Sources

• An Officer of the British Empire "Yummy Rib Steaks" Bragging Rights Hourly, 1:00am