UnNews:Structure found in lake believed to be Earth's penis

24 April 2013

Damn, Earth has one hell of a package. And by package, I clearly mean historic landmark. *cough*

Finally, after centuries of searching, we've found um, not the planet's penis. The large (emphasis on large), circular structure has a raging boner --er, a very thick cylindrical core, and a tendency to spurt semen --er, gas from the center of the earth. It was found under the Sea of Galilee, and... Okay, let's cut the bullshit. It's clearly the planet's weinermeister. Clearly this is a penis. My superiors don't want me telling anyone, but I know it's true. I mean, just look at the picture. That's a penis right there. Proud and free. Doin' it's thang. DON'T DENY THE TRUTH!! JAWS DID WTC!!! THE MOON LANDING WAS A HOAX !!

Yours truly, Collum Nist Notahomophobe

Sources

• Daisy Carrington "Mysterious ancient structure found at bottom of ancient lake" CNN, April 23, 2013