UnNews:Sony breach by Al-Qaeda helps find Osama bin Laden; Playstation geeks compensated
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
2 May 2011
TOKYO, Japan -- After a few weeks of not being able to log in to feed their addiction, Sony has announced that the PlayStation Network had been sabotaged by Al-Qaeda by order of the late Osama bin Laden. Sony had not announced the breach for an entire two days in order to avoid the U.S. Government from breathing down their backs. But, after the breach was located, Sony had been seized by the government to use the electronic signals to find bin Laden. As geeks were being deprived of online Call of Duty, the government was looking from bin Laden through Playstation's network. Once bin Laden was executed, Sony President Sir Howard Stringer said:
| “ | Now that the government used our network, used for a geek terrorist attack, to find the terrorist that was responsible for thousands of deaths, I formally announce that parts of the network should be back up this week. I also announce that we are proud to take part in this event and are glad they chose our network, as that means we get free money for participating. | ” |
The geeks deprived of games in the name of counter-terrorism are being given a small sum of compensation in order to buy more Sony products and other essential items such as RAM for their PlayStation console or computer. Sony expects that this incident will result in a large surplus this quarter.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "Sony apologizes for PlayStation breach, offers compensation" CNN, May 1, 2011