UnNews:Senatorial Candidates forced to “Eat Fresh” at the same Table
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
2 November 2006
MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- With only 5 days left until Minnesota elects a new Senator, candidates Mark Kennedy (R) and Amy Klobuchar (D) are busy racing from city to city trying to secure votes from undecided citizens. Today, after hours spent on the campaign trail, fate caused the two hungry politicians to accidentally bump into each other in line at a local Subway restaurant.
"There are stark differences between my opponent, Ms. Klobuchar, and myself", Representative Kennedy informed the cashier. "I always get mine toasted."
There weren’t many open tables at the Subway located in the skyway just next to Target in downtown Minneapolis, so Klobuchar and Kennedy were forced to "eat fresh" at the same table.
"For the record, eating lunch with Mark isn't so bad", Hennepin County Attorney Amy Klobuchar noted. "It's better than when I eat with Hillary [Clinton], because she always makes me go to McDonalds with her to try and win some of that Monopoly money [Best Buy Bucks]".
Both candidates have been recently endorsed by several high-profile fast-food outlets. Kennedy was endorsed by KFC when he promised them that if elected, he would make them the food service provider for all elementary schools. Klobuchar is enjoying her new endorsement from Taco Bell, as she receives $100 for every time she says "Minnesota – think outside the bun".
"Mmm, this sure is tasty. Can you believe this is only 6 grams of fat or less?" questioned Representative Kennedy while dabbing a small amount of sweet onion sauce from his chin.
"That's just amazing." Replied Klobuchar, who was already three bites into her sandwich. "You know, I'm the granddaughter of a coal miner, and the daughter of a writer and a teacher, but sometimes I wish that I had come from a family with vested interests in the fast-food industry."