UnNews:Scientists discover the potato god, Potaculoues's fossil
Since 300 bc, Potaculoues disappeared, making all potatoes inedible for millenniums at this point. the world mourns at this tragic incident, until today. scientist Bob Petronomium discovers his fossil, meaning all of society shall now eat potatoes! Tuesday, November 14, 2025
More about potatoes[edit | edit source]
Potatoes are the only fruit known to have eyes. They were worshipped by the Egyptians from 23 BCE to 300 BCE and have saved many lives. The potato god, Potaculoues, formed, and sooner or later disappeared, making potato protests and potato vs potatoes increase. We shall now celebrate with the national Potato anthem for the potato god's successful revival.
Potato national anthem[edit | edit source]
Verse 1
O noble spud, from earth you rise,
A humble gift beneath the skies.
From muddy fields to kitchen light,
You bring us joy both day and night.
Verse 2 Mashed and buttered,
smooth and sweet,
Golden fries, a crispy treat.
Roasted whole or baked with care,
Potato love is everywhere.
Chorus Raise your forks, let voices sing,
Potato reigns, our starchy king!
From every land, both far and near,
We honor spuds with cheer sincere.
Verse 3
In famine’s time, you stood so strong,
You fed the weak, you marched along.
A hero clad in earthy skin,
A victory born from deep within.
Verse 4 Potato chips in bags we share,
At parties, laughter fills the air.
Hash browns greet the morning sun,
A crunchy start for everyone.
Chorus Raise your forks, let voices sing,
Potato reigns, our starchy king! F
rom every land, both far and near,
We honor spuds with cheer sincere.
Verse 5 Boiled in pots, or stewed with meat,
Potatoes make the meal complete.
No dish too plain, no feast too grand,
Without the spud’s strong helping hand.
Verse 6 So let us pledge, both young and old,
To guard the spud, our treasure bold.
Forever may its glory grow,
The heart of meals, the star of show.
Final Chorus Raise your forks, let voices sing,
Potato reigns, our starchy king!
From every land, both far and near,
We honor spuds with cheer sincere.
Potato proud, potato true,
We sing this anthem just for you!