UnNews:Saddam Hussein to be Executed Again for Missing WMDs
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
4 January 2007
PENTAGON 2, BAGHDAD - Following the guilty verdict for crimes against humanity, the pentagon today announced that the iRaqis has announced that George W. Bush has announced that the iRaqi courts has announced that Judge Judy Al-Khaleed has announced that Saddam Hussein is to be tried for hiding WMDs.
"The reason we invaded iRaq in the first place, is to find Weapons of Mass Destruction. We knew then that Saddam has nuclear, biological and chemical deterrents. We can see the sites for the weapons from satellite pictures. But what we didn't expect was how good Saddam actually is at hiding them." A Pentagon Spokeswoman says.
While iRaqi officials, after a thorough search of the iRaqi archives for a glimmer of hope in finding Weapons of Mass Destructions, couldn't find any hint of their whereabouts, "want Saddam to stand trial for hiding them. But after the bombastic execution, we'd have to figure something out to prop him up," a Department of Justice official said yesterday. "My 10 year old niece suggested building some kind of a gallows and having Saddam hang from it.” the official adds, “ I told her 'but then Saddam would hang for trial, not stand for trial, honey.'"
Meanwhile, to further complicate the matters, two days ago, they found Saddam Hussein’s tomb empty due to his 3rd day resurrection. “Some dictators like Saddam and Jesus comes back to life after three days. But in Saddam's case, we expect to find him back in his bunker when we found him before.” The Pentagon 2 Official says. “He got his safety blanket and favourite teddy bear stashed there. Our marines has set up a box propped with a stick, and when he tries to grab his teddy bear, our gloriously vigilant marines will pull the string and he’ll be trapped under the box.” The spokeswoman explains. “We caught him this way before, we’ll catch him again.”
Around the world, more and more people reported Saddam Hussein’s appearences. He has been spotted from the wilderness between North and South Dakota; East and West London; at Loch Ness; and at a KFC Rest stop about 5 miles south of Baghdad where he appeared for a small audience of his loyal followers.
At midnight last night, US President George "Dubya" Bush was in his pajamas bending over the fridge to get a midnight snack when the ghost of Saddam Hussein appears before him and took all his Donuts. "Darn it! Get me Collin Powell, he got me Saddam once, he'll get 'em again. I want my donuts back! He'll hang for this... again." Bush shouted at the Secret Service agents who were munching their own donuts in the next room. They won't share.
As a consolation, CondomPizza Rice, a Super Secret Service agent not to be confused with Dr. Condoleezza Rice who studies rice paddies in Vietnam, show Bush a full uncensored alternate angle view of Saddam Hussein's execution on his Cellphone. He watched the video with glee while sucking his thumb.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Feureau "Saddam Hussein to Stand for More Trials" Ooogle News, January 4, 2007
- Feureau "Saddam's tomb found empty after 3 days; resurrected leader appears to followers" Uncyclopedia, January 2, 2007