UnNews:Republican Healthcare 2009, "Throw a Little Dirt On It."

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23 July 2009

Washington DC July 22, 2009

Rush Limbaugh, disgusied as an upstairs page, tiptoed gingerly down the hallowed hall toward the secret room on the left. He was mighty wary of that too...so he quickly spun 3X to the RIGHT before entering!

"Too much time in the "Golden EIB Showers" thought Rush. Brushing an auburn pube from his lip, he hastened to don the robes of TRUTH. "Best be looking fine before the " Altered Boy 'O " get here...

Even the Great Rush Limbaugh can blush--and thinking about his altered boy 'o -- Shawn Hannity -- did it too him every time. Weak knees and trembling breath is where we leave Rush to his 'devises" in order to ferret out the Obamian Opposition!

Two floors down, at the Popeye's Chicken is where we finally find the Obama Clan. "Fired Up and Ready to Eat" was the 250 pounds of tasty southern fried poultry. Hot N' Spicy, with some corn bread and RC Cola!

At the center of the massive table sits Barack Obama, bigger than life. (Because he sits on a couple pillows so's his chin dont touch the table--but that be off the record)

Sleeves rolled up to his shoulder, lobster bib covering his torso,leaning into his work.. greasin' the fattest drumbstick of the lot was the chosen one; the mano a mano; the dally roo; the reamer and the redeemer: Barack OH---BAMMA!

Menacing a tortured drumstick like a tech-9, he bade them WELCOME one and all...the Obama girls passed the offering as he began to speak:

"JE'SSS---US! was a socialist! He fed each according to his needs with loaves and fishes and cocktails made from water...and without bread and a mop bucket I might add!

"Je--suss RAISED the dead! He HEALED to sick! and he FED the POOR! Je--suss NEVER went to high school or got his G--E--D! No he didnt!

Now we gonna FEED the POOR! And we gonna HEAL the SICK!"

(a loud crash outside--doors swing open and a gurney with Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity strapped to them, bursts into the room)

NOW LIKE I SAID, before we were so rudely interrupted Rush and Sean...

We takin' the path of JE--susss! People!!! We feeding the Poor, and we GONNA HEAL THE SICK...right guys?

Rush curled his lip menacingly as did Sean Hannity upon seeing his mentor do so. A low growl emaniated from the golden lips..."ssssssooooochalist! so-shulllll-list! " "NEVER--NEVER--NEVER will you pass health care for the poor!"

Obama smiled and gave a little"ha"

He walked over to Hannity who was still snarling and drove the drumbstick clean through his eye and into the brain...silencing the dimwitted tv toadie for ever.

Rush attempted to escape, but his bottles of Vicodans and Norcos spilled on the floor and laid a trap for their owner...Limbaugh slipped on a orange one and drove his head into Sean Hannity's ass so deep that Sean's head popped off and Rush's replaced it.

Barack walked over and picked up the head of the Altered Boy-O' and held it aloft with his left hand...

"Now Sean, he spake...and Rush he Spake...and now i shall spake too.

I said: We WLL FEED THE POOR! And we will, indeed!

And, I SAID: WE WILL HEAL the SICK! And that we will!

But Sean and Rush: I didnt say shit about RAISING the DEAD!

So, boys you are just shit outta luck."

A few minutes later Barack Obama stepped out and up to the podium:

Health care is not about ME..."

Sources

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