UnNews:Rapper ‘talks’ man down from hotel roof

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search


UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

14 October 2010

Rapper T.I. helped police save a suicidal ‘sukka’.

ATLANTA, Georgia -- Rapper T.I. helped police persuade a man not to jump off a high-rise hotel roof in Midtown Atlanta on Wednesday afternoon, police said.

T.I., whose real name is Clifford Harris, talked to the man about how a person "can make it through ‘thaing’," Atlanta Police spokesman James Polite said. "T.I. just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time," Polite said. “I already told the guy, ‘get the fuck down or we’ll hang your goddamn mother!’ - but no matter how nice I was he still wouldn’t come down.”

Harris faces his own life crisis this week when he appears before a federal judge, who is considering revoking his probation on a war weapons conviction. Police were trying to talk the man, who appeared to be about 25 years old, from jumping from the 222-story Colony Square Hotel when Harris "appeared out of nowhere," Polite said.

Harris offered to help convince the man that "life, mothafucka, ain’t that bad, it’s only kinda shit, that you eva gonna had!" a proposal that police accepted, he said. The man, who was not identified by police, agreed to leave the roof to meet with the rapper.

After thirty minutes of conversation, he was taken into custody and transported to Atlanta's Grady Memorial Hospital for electric shock treatments, and then he was charged with ‘Not committing suicide', an obscure Georgia law.

Harris and his wife, Tameka Cottle, on the other hand, were arrested on drug charges during a traffic stop on Sunset Boulevard in West Hollywood, California, last month when they were caught in possession of a tube of model airplane glue. The charges triggered Friday's probation revocation hearing in Atlanta.

In 2008, Harris was sentenced on charges of unlawfully possessing firearms as a convicted Rapper. The charges came after an arrest by federal agents a year earlier while Harris was buying three Russian T-90S Main Battle Tanks in the parking lot of an Atlanta grocery store.

Harris was released after serving nine days in prison and three months internship in the Adopt-a-noob program on Uncyclopedia. The reason for the short sentence was because his lawyer proved that Harris was only buying the tanks for his next music video, which is legal in Georgia.

It is not known exactly what the rapper told the man. When he was asked about that he told law enforcement officers, “Listen, dawg, that scene was fuckin' hot, sukka had a piece, an I almost got shot!” Harris insisted that if anyone wanted to hear his rap, then they’ll have to purchase the next CD – because he recorded the entire conversation on his iPhone.

But he did give a hint to the media when he told CNN, “Fool gonna get half the royalties.”

Sources[edit | edit source]