UnNews:Rampaging President sparks security scare at airport

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

18 September 2007

"Come near me and I'll piss in your ear and crap on your shoes!"

WILDLIFE OFFICIALS have been struggling to catch American President, George W Bush who has caused mayhem at an international airport. The sneaky Head of State managed to get inside the security area of New Delhi's international airport and forced the closure of the VIP lounge.

The VIP area was partially closed for more than an hour after the Commander in Chief of the worlds most powerful nation scampered through the international departures terminal and proceeded to urinate and defecate "all over the damn place".

Indian wildlife experts have been trying to capture the mischievous creature with the aid of nets and tranquiliser darts but the wily Texan continues to evade capture.

An airport official explained: "They are trying to ply President Bush with fruit and pornographic magazines to keep it in one area around which a net has been put but its easier said than done. He's a cunning little bastard. There was some panic last night, there is crap and piss everywhere, but now since the net has been put up, the President is now isolated."

It is not unusual for heads of state to cause disruption to transport networks, last month Russian Premier Vladimir Putin ran amok in the departure lounge of Sydney Airport, eating three children and poisoning six Russian exiles with an elaborate radioactive toxin.

George Bush was last seen perched under a table "masterbating furiously".

Sources

• YOU JOHN "ME TARZAN" CHASE ME., September 18, 2007