UnNews:Putin Sets Disco Floor, Georgia Alight
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
7 February 2009
MOSCOW, Russia. Reports reach us that Russian Czar Prime Minister Vladimir Putin attended a performance by Abba tribute band Bjorn Again at a 'secret disco' several miles north of Moscow.
"It was incredible" said the band's manager, Rodney Stephens. "Mr Putin was sitting behind a curtain whilst the band played. He was attended by several other men and a figure in a dress sitting on his knee who may have been Dmitry Medvedev or a whore. As the band played 'Dancing Queen' Mr Putin started grooving in his seat, then he lifted his companion from his knee, threw the curtain aside and started throwing some fresh moves on the disco floor. I've never seen anything quite like it. Not even when we played for Fidel Castro."
Stephens claims that when the band started playing 'Waterloo' Mr Putin "...raised one arm in the air and started nodding his head in time with the music. At the chorus he started doing a sort-of strutting dance around the floor shouting "Bravo!" and "Like Napoleon, you will learn the power of the Russian Bear, Ukraine, and surrender!". He really seemed to be getting carried away."
Officials at the Kremlin have denied the claims stating that Mr Putin "enjoys a disco-dance on some occasions but not this time". However, footage of a line of T80 tanks on manoeuvers along the South Ossettian-Georgian border has been released with Mr Putin poking out of the lead tank along with twin speakers blasting out 'Dance Commander' by Electric Six, accompanied by the occasional shell, into Georgia. Georgia claims it has sent troops to her northern border with Ossettia with order to play "Leonard Cohen at maximum volume" in an attempt to "calm Mr Putin the fuck down".
Sources[edit | edit source]
- BBC "Vla-Vla-Vlad Putin" BBC News, February 6th, 2009