UnNews:Obama sworn in as America's 44 President
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
20 January 2009
WASHINGTON DC, UNN - Among much pomp and fanfare, Barrack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America today at noon (EST). The ceremony capped a ten-week transition period in which outgoing President George W. Bush all but surrendered power to the dynamic President-elect.
Obama, who at age 47 becomes the third youngest man to hold the highest office in the nation, took the oath of office from Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts. Roberts for his part flubbed his lines, and at first prompted Obama to "Faithfully execute the office of janitor, so helps me God." When Obama failed to play along, Roberts ad-libbed a quick "Sorry about that," and then continued on as if nothing had happened.
Addressing the crowd of 1 million onlookers, Obama stated that the road ahead "will be one of sacrifice," but that "everyone gets to ride for free."
Following his address, old southern white men, like West Virginia Senator Robert Byrd, who once belonged to the KKK applauded politely while thinking "how in the world did this nigger end up in the White House?"
Events during the inaugural ran fifteen to twenty-five minutes late, prompting Oprah Winfrey to exclaim "we is on CPT (Colored Peoples Time) now!"
Events this for the President and Mrs. Obama include a mad dash through ten inaugural balls, a late night stop at Popeye's, and Barry White followed by the President's promise to rock the First Lady's world before bed.