UnNews:Nobody cares about North Korea nuclear threat
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
16 April 2013
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA - In a shocking turn of events, it turns out nobody cares about the North Korea nuclear threat; yes, the threat that threatens to exterminate the whole US has been met with a resounding meh. This is in contrast to the Russian nuclear threat of the 1960's where everybody was panicking and constantly hiding under their tables. It has been said that North Korea has been actively pursuing a missile since the days when Kim Il-sung ruled with an iron fist, a missile which will in fact show North Korea it's dominance over all of the other countries; now that it has that missile, the world should be fearing it right?
When asking Kim Jong-un his response to this news, he replied "What? We have missiles; nuclear missiles! Those missiles will blow up the United States. Did you hear me? I said we have missiles; pay attention to me damnit!" American response to this comment has been less than flattering "You know, this person recently took over from his father, you'd think he'd do better than some attention grabbing ploy right?" said one person out on the streets. Kim Jong-un had recently taken over after the death of his father Kim Jong-il, the most respected man in all of North Korea, and the most feared as well.
UnNews has done some investigating and has found out that the nuclear missiles in fact do exist and he does in fact intend to use them but upon further investigation, it has been found out that even the people who manufactured the missiles don't care either. "Honestly, I'd embrace the apocalypse; at least we don't get to hear the whining of a big baby." said one of the Koreans.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Edith M. Lederer "North Korea Threatens Pre-Emptive Nuclear Strike Against U.S." Huffington Post, March 7th, 2013