UnNews:Mourinho 'feeds on trophies'

Monday, March 2, 2015

A young Mouirnho clearly bloated after eating the Portuguese double.

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has revealed that he sustains himself on a diet made exclusively of trophies.

The 52-year-old made the surprise comments after watching his side coast to a 2-0 victory against Tottenham in the League Cup Final. When asked if the new trophy would take pride of place in his collection, he replied: "Zere iz no collection. I eat all ze trophiez. I need trophiez to zurvive. I feed myself on zem."

The Sky interviewer, apparently initially believing this to be a metaphor, appeared confused when Mourinho began adding more details: "Every morning, I start with light breakfast - maybe Supertaça Cândido de Oliveira- Is like Portuguese version of Charity Shield. Very light.

"Then at lunch, something bigger. Maybe FA Cup. Dinner iz most important meal of day. Always I have, maybe, Serie A trophy, Premier League trophy, Champions League trophy on special occasions."

The manager's insatiable appetite for trophies has brought him much success, but also, he revealed, many problems: "Much deficiencies in my diet, alzough I get plenty of iron. Constipation iz constant problem.

"One time, I eat UEFA Cup trophy. No shit for week."

Sources

• Leverage "Mourinho: 'I feed myself on trophies'" TalkSport, March 2, 2015