UnNews:Moron sees Moon for first time
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
4 July 2008
SOUTHERN WALES, GREAT BRITAIN Police called out to an idiot's 999 call about a UFO. Police finally understood that the UFO was nothing more than the Moon with a bite out of itself.
The police were told that a large stationery object was spotted just right above the caller's home. Here is a transcript of the call:
CALLER: AAAAAA! Aliens!!! Aaagh!
RESPONSE: Please hold. (Elevator music)
CALLER: Dum de dum dum dum dim dum dee dah...
RESPONSE: Aliens? Please speak up.
CALLER: A large stationery object up mah head. Looks big and glowy and yellow.
RESPONSE: Stationery? A real object this time? ALIENS! PANIC! Abduction!!!
CALLER Yah, guess so.
After the call was made, the police rushed to it about 15 minutes later. Police Captain Buttz took a look at the object for a second and claimed to control, the mystery had been solved. Call from control:
RESPONSE: You total moron, that's the moon. Yah fricking idiot. How dumb could ya get?
CALLER: What's a moon?
After the conversation on the phone had been over, the caller, anonymous, had been sent to kindergarten for regular intelligence. 999 claims that this has been one mystery best left solved.
To resolve 999 calls being constantly stupid, instead of saying "SWPD, what is it?", control will now ask "SWPD, what is your emergency not related to aliens, objects in the sky or your pants falling down?" leaving 99% of Walesians speechless to the phone.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- BBC "Police say UFO was just the Moon. Man dazzled to see Moon for first time." BBC, July 4, 2008