UnNews:Mark Wallinger's horse penis to be made into a Landmark
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
10 February 2009
The Ebbsfleet Landmark Project (ELP) announced today that they will erect Mark Wallinger's giant horse penis in an attempt to bring focus away from Breast Cancer and back onto Testicular Cancer which they believe has been neglected. Wallinger's penis drew the most votes from the ELP's board of voters who chose it over a giant bird's egg and a pile of cubes which were seen to be "plain stupid".
As a result of choosing the horse's penis the ELP has come under fire not only from members of the Cancer Buddies Network, Facebook for people with Cancer, but also from Christians who have been told that the sculpture will be twice as tall as the not so popular Angel of The North which has become a mascot of sorts since the death of Jesus. "Unlike Christianity we know that sex and Testicular Cancer will in some ways stay with the human race to the end of its existence" Wallinger said at the ceremony when he first proposed his sculpture. Supporting Wallinger and his phallus are Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand, both of whom are known for their ferocious sexual appetites.
The sculpture, which is to be built in Kent, is aimed to be complete by 2012 and will possibly present new unforeseen opportunities for the Olympic Games that will be held the same year. With the £2m commission with which Wallinger is to build the sculpture, they will be able to include an inner reinforced titanium layer "in case of terrorist attacks or learner pilots" a representative of ELP told a reporter, "The Angel of The North poses no gateway to national security, however we feel that the destruction of this mighty phallus could bring an end to England". It is clear that any attack on the structure could bring an end to some of the citizens of Kent as it could collapse onto any of the four retirement homes that will surround it.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Nosheen Iqbal "Wallinger's horse chosen to be Ebbsfleet's 'Angel of the South'" Guardian Online, February 10, 2009