UnNews:Man arrested for building nuclear bomb in his toilet
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
2 August 2011
ÄNGELHOLM, Sweden -- Angelholm, a small town along the coast of Sweden, isn't the first place you'd think to look in the search for a nuclear bomb. But that's just what police in the seaside city were tasked with hunting down when one of its citizens took it upon him to construct a radioactive power plant and assemble a fully operational thermo-nuclear bomb right in his own bathroom.
The man, whose name has not been released in spite of its not rhyming with Osama, was reportedly very open about his fascination with nuclear bombs and with his plans to attempt the dangerous project and test it in his back yard at home, though it appears nobody took him seriously.
After spending $100,000 on supplies shipped from North Korea, the amateur reactor builder set to work, monitoring the radiation levels in his home with a Geiger counter, and he successfully assembled a half-kiloton thermo nuclear device.
At some point, it must have occurred to the man that what he was building might not have been entirely legal, because he placed a friendly call to the Swedish Radiation Authority to see if there were any laws on the books regarding testing homemade nuclear bombs on one’s own property. Local police arrived shortly thereafter and confiscated the man's device before placing him under arrest.
He was released a short while later after questioning revealed that he was not associated with the Knights Templar Christian terrorist organization, and he has reportedly vowed to refrain from any further experimentation with MAD WMD. However, he did admit that he'll miss masturbating to the Nuclear reactor Core in the bathroom- further explaining that the core kept his private assets "Warm", and told us how much he loved the "Vibes" he got from it. Scientists assume the "Vibes" were actually the cells of his private parts dying due to extreme radiation!
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Staff "Man arrested for building nuclear reactor in his kitchen" Yahoo News, Aug 2, 2011