UnNews:Mac OS x 10.6

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

12 May 2009

"Add a slow Mac to your fast Mac" Apple has just announced that it is in the final stages of development of Mac OS X 10.6. Mac OS X 10.5 is named Leopard and earlier versions were named Tiger and Panther, just to name few. So this new version comes as an amazing surprise. Currently referred to by its code name "Walrus", it is noticeably slower. Although the soon to be released Mac OS X 10.6 was to be called "Snow Leopard", as you can see from the video, Apple has rediscovered its sensitivity to overpriced hardware in these more austere economic times. Watch this leaked video on YouTube about the subject: [1] They weren't going to announce to the public until a early 2010 but they are now admitting to Mac OS X "Walrus" (code name of their new revised OS). The new OS is already receiving praise from beta testers for its revolutionarily and unthinkable idea: "Who Needs Speed?". Rumors are circulating that Microsoft, makers of the other operating system, Windows, is investing heavily in the making of yet another copy of a Mac-like operating system. They may be calling it Windows "Dark, Wet, Cramped Space" or "Dark, Wet, Cramped Space for Kittens" as Mac users like to call it. In a press release on Apple's website, Steve Jobs is quoted, "To accommodate the enormous amounts of memory being taken away and the advanced hardware being slowed, Mac OS X "Walrus" extends the 6-bit technology in Mac OS X to support breakthrough amounts of RAM — up to a theoretical 120MB, or 500 times less than what is possible today. Less RAM makes applications run slower, because more of their data can be kept in the very slow physical RAM instead of on the much faster hard disk." They have also added lots of new features like iZombie 09 replacing iLife 09 (it is just a slower, bulkier version taking away the most helpful features) and Finder is now called "Lost" and has the "Scramble" feature which takes apart all of your recent files and puts them back together mixed or "Scrambled". Disk Utility tells you where things are moving fine and slows them down with the utmost precision. Safari 4.1 is now unable to connect to the internet and iTunes 9.0 doesn't play music. For more updates keep watching: www.apple.com/walrus OR www.slow-is-the-new-cool.com to find out more.

Please email me if you find anything interesting: legostj@gmail.com And I hope this proved helpful to some interested in a new Mac!

Sources

• Dink Dinkle "Apple-Internal Use Only: "Walrus, What's Next?"" Mother Jones, May 14, 2009

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