UnNews:Liverpool named "least bling" by King Michael

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3 June 2006

King Michael of Chav announces the news

Atop Burberry Ltd. Headquarters in London, England, self-proclaimed King of the Chavs Michael Carrol announced that Liverpool, a quaint Northern fishing village of little to no importance in football or rock music, is the UK's "least ghetto" city.

“Dare innit no question about it. Scouze, FA titlez, an da 'uckin' wack Beatlez - face it, Liverpool makez Windsor losafe skeen. Bwap!”

~ Michael Carroll on Liverpool

Avoiding questions from journalists, His Majesty ten walked to his patent-pending Chavmobile, his track jacket undulating with every step.

Response by other notable chavs has been mixed. Prince Harry stated, "Woz diz Carroll bruv twyin' a say? Windzor'z alwayz been pimp, mo' pimp dan 'uckin' Essex! May I wemoind you dat it wuz George VI who done invented burberry, tracky b's, happy slappin', an' kitten 'uffin'?"

An improverished, unknown scouser refugee currently seeking asylum in Essex, Sr. Paul McCartney, had this to say:

“De chavs ay na go'n ter take der pewl. Wuz dead fab folks oo 'ave nowt ter do wi' bberry, track suits, er 'ewliganism. Der pewl shall na srender ter Cabbage Hall Yanks, specially dis ragman Carroll feller.”

~ Paul McCartney on Michael Carroll

More news on the rocky state of Chav-Scouser relations will come as this dead intriguing story continues.