UnNews:Kookaburra doesn't 'Sit in the Old Gum Tree'

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

8 March 2010

A recent ruling by a now-very-wealthy incompetent judge to award in favour of Larrikin Records’ claim that Australian band Men at Work stole parts of the 70 year-old song ‘Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree’ and used it in their smash hit ‘Land Down Under’ could be null and void and, basically, bullshit.

In what could be devastating to the farce that is Larrikin Records, a kookaburra has come forward claiming the song, written by a young Marion Sinclair as a Penthouse Forum article in the 1930’s, was in fact written about him and “…it wasn’t even a gum tree”.

From his hollow in the trunk of an African Tulip in a suburban Sydney backyard, Kooky the kookaburra spoke exclusively to UnNews, “Sqwark Sqwark! Kook-kook-kook-kaaaa-kaaaa-kaaaa!”

A spokesman for Kooky the kookaburra released a statement yesterday, saying ‘Marion used to visit the house under the tree Kooky has lived all his life. She wrote the song clearly ignorant to the fact this is an African Tulip. It doesn’t even look like a gum tree, or even old’.

The reclusive kookaburra is allegedly seeking 75% of the royalty payments from Larrikin Records, understood to currently amount to a handful of change and a stuffed dog, while considering suing millions of parents for ‘unauthorised singing of the song to their children’. Depending on the household, this could cost some parents millions of dollars. Lawyers for the iconic bird have urged people to ‘pay up now, and enjoy an early-bird discount’.

The announcement could be the break the Men at Work boys have been waiting for. Men at Work spokesman Hack A. Golly said,’Clearly, if the gum tree did not exist, then any claim of infringement of copyright needs to reflect the fact that a large portion of the original song was imaginary. Everybody has an imagination. You can’t sue an imagination. Pfft! Imagine that! Show me the gum tree Larrikin Records or piss off’.

Speaking from his fried-out Kombi, singer Colin Hay said, ‘I’ve been on a hippy trail, head full of zombie. Kookaburra what?’