UnNews:Jesus vows to come back as astronaut

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16 November 2009


Jesus wants to come back not as Savior but as an astronaut so he can get as far away from earth and humans as humanly possible. When Jesus was asked about gentiles and Christians he vomited. After retaining his composure Jesus stated: I'm a Jew! Why would I want a collection of cheap used car salesmen to represent me? On second thought, nah forget it! Hopefully I can find intelligent life some where in this universe 'cause it sure as hell ain't here! When Jesus was asked why he wasn't speaking in Hebrew he rebutted: English is the international language of business. Later when Jesus was asked about the miracles and resurrection He claimed it was 'just another college prank. You know an ancient form of truth or dare.' Israel drops God as sponsor. The Prime Minister stated that the monthly installments had raised three points above the vig. We can no longer afford to be chosen people. Times are tough and besides it's not as easy as it looks for us to be US's mini me. == Sources ==

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