UnNews:Ingrid Pitt dead, again
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
24 November 2010
Grand Duchy of Transylvania, Romania -- Smoking hot Ingrid Pitt, better known as Countess Dracula, has died at the age of 73. The Polish-born star died at a hospital in south London after collapsing a few days ago.
Pitt's daughter, Stephanie Blake told the UnNews website that her mother's death had come as a "huge surprise" and quashed rumours that her death had no involved former family friend Professor Abraham Van Helsing who had attempted to murder her mother throughout the 1960s and early 1970s. In a moment of random weirdness she added that she wanted her mother to be remembered as the Countess Dracula with the "wonderful teeth and the wonderful bosom".
Creepy sycophant and Official Hammer Horror historian Marcus Hearn paid tribute to the undead star. "She was partly responsible for ushering in a bold and brazen era of sexually explicit horror films in the 1970s, but that should not denigrate her abilities as a vampire. Vampires in my day weren't sparkling nancyboys with tussled locks."
Having already been brought back from the grave twenty-seven times, reports that she can be returned from the dead through the application of Virgin's Blood have led to the entire cast of Glee going into hiding.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Queen of the Damned "Bite Me" Vamp Flix, October 31, 2010