UnNews:I'm sorry too

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

22 February 2008

The UnReal World, Isreal During to an intense skullfucking session penetrating MP Shlomo Benizri's brain, explosions of light, sound and movement shot through his perception in a fashion that he could only interpret in retrospect as an earthquake.

Many satisfied customers

It's truly unfortunate that he now regards things this way. There is a simple explanation. Most people, when they pay for a black-market back-alley skullfucking, are very open minded. They usually just plop their glass eye into the cup beside the couch, lie back, chat a bit while i look for a vein, them I shoot them up and thrust my 12" manhood deep into their eyesocket, probing about, causing waves of the highly addictive sensation of the smell of burnt toast. Alarming synestasia can happen, but I have many years of experience with these things, plus, I have to make a living somehow, so the customer is always right.

But I have to apologize. Sometimes, I get cocky. And wouldn't you know it, right in mid-thrust Shlomo started talking about the earth moving, not his normal glossolalia at all. But I made a bad judgement call. See, I think he's a cutie, that one, and I must say I was a little flattered at the time. See, I took a little while to figure out that I had hit the wrong noodle, you know? Anyway, I have an appointment at 8. Can I go now?

Sources

• BBC "Israeli MP blames quakes on gays" BBC, Now

• God "Current Gay Activity" Iris Seismic Monitor, Now