UnNews:Harry Potter "adult edition" ending confuses pre-teens

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

22 July 2007
Everywhere (except under rocks) - Confusion today, as J.K. Rowling and her publishing team have embarked on a bold move to actually change the ending of the novel "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" in the "Adult edition" release of the novel.

Adolescents bug-eyed after reading the Adult Edition

Bought by teenagers and pre-teens for schoolyard popularity (whilst failing to realise Harry Potter grants no popularity), every book in the series is released with a colourful, vibrant colour for a younger audience. The new adult edition" will come wrapped in plain brown paper.

The new surprise is that the ending was changed in the recent adult edition, to a more interesting mature finale for adult readers. This has caused great confusion amongst younger readers who bought the adult edition, as they cannot grasp the advanced concepts.

The new ending features Harry discovering his parents never actually died because through an involved process of transfiguration, time travel, potion use and several other forms of magic, he discovers he is in fact, his own father.

It goes on to explain that Albus Dumbledore, Hogwarts late headmaster, is the only person who is aware of this and is also Harry's Grandson.

Another change obviously targeted at the adult male audience, includes a battle between Hermione and Bellatrix Lestrange that leads to lots of clothing vanishing and some unique use of wands.

When asked why she created these multiple editions of the final novel, J.K. Rowling responded "I want to give people a greater sense of imagination. After all, a vivid imagination is the key to reading. Also, there's a nice castle in Belgium I've got my eye on."