UnNews:Happy 40th Birthday Internet!

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

3 September 2009

The Internet Map as it appears today as drawn by Al Gore.

Washington, DC, USA -- Today marks the 40th Birthday of the Internet (known then as the ARPANET) when Al Gore was visiting September 2nd 1969, in a lab at the University of California, Los Angeles, two computers passed test data through a 15-foot gray cable. Al Gore told the researches to build him a Data Information Super Highway so that he could store his porn collection on it to share with others.

Later on Stanford Research Institute joined the fledgling ARPANET network a month later to access Al Gore's porn collection; UC Santa Barbara and the University of Utah joined by year's end to access the porn collection, and the Internet was born.

Al Gore saw that it was good so he went to Congress and Mr. Gore had been instrumental in introducing legislation, beginning in 1988, to finance the Internet. "Now we all can share our porn collections with each other and even make money off of selling subscriptions to it."

Later on Al Gore invented spam, the Nigerian 419 Scam email, viruses and other malware, the insecure model for SMTP mail servers, and crappy insecure code that allows exploits so that everyone can have free access to information over the Internet even if they were not authorized to do that. "I regret inventing those things," Mr. Gore stated, "but they led me to discover and invent global warming which won me a Nobel prize for that."

Al Gore now works as an adviser for Apple Computers to help keep them green to help protect the environment. Back in 1976 Al Gore met Steve Jobs in a bar in California and said "Steve the people need an easier to use computer, your Apple // isn't that easy to use and requires using the BASIC language to operate. Here I drew some diagrams on this napkin that can help Apple make a computer that is easier to use I call the Goreintosh." Later on Steve Jobs turned that into the Lisa and then Macintosh computer and then later on in the 21st century rewarded Al Gore with an advisory role at Apple to keep his promise to reward him.

Sources

• 404 Error "Happy Birthday Internet" National Geographic, September 2, 2009