UnNews:Google changes their mind about cancelling Dragonfly Project
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
12/17/2018 Earlier today, Google cancelled their highly controversial Dragonfly Project. The Dragonfly Project was a edited version of the google search engine, which was to be used within China by our great google gods. It would censor unsavory searches, for example, the test phrases they used: “Why the fuck can’t i have more than two children?” and “why can’t i question my pollution-ridden overlords?”
Yet, only five hours after the cancellation of the Dragonfly Project, Sundar Pichai (CEO of Google) could be heard across California, yelling “Eh, fuck it!” at the top of his lungs. Afterwards, he announced the immediate implementation of the project. Here is an audio transcript of an interview between Sundar and an anonymous reporter.
Anon: “You have decided to apply the Dragonfly Project worldwide in every version of google. Why?”
Sundar: “Well i was sitting in my office, when i realized i’m the CEO of google. I can do whatever i want! And i thought- maybe, just maybe- i could screw over the entire world in the biggest prank of the millenium!”
Anon: “But isn’t the fun in pranks derived from realizing it’s not real? Will it only be temporarily implemented?”
Sundar: “No and no. Project Dragonfly will be implemented forever, until the end of time.”
Anon: “But what if you’re no longer the CEO? What then?”
Sundar: “My top engineers are currently working on putting my mind into a cybernetic body, immortalizing me forever. Therefore, the Dragonfly Project will always stay in place.
Anon: “That has to be illegal in some way!”
Sundar: “Shut up! Security! Remove this man from the premises.”
Anon: *fading* “No! You can’t do this! It’s evil! Stop!”
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Jordan Novet "[Mah inspiration. Google ends China search project]" 12/17/2018, Month Day, Year
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