UnNews:Gentile dies after eating alef-beys cookie

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Last night, at a Jewish girl’s birthday party, they invited a Gentile friend. To this boy, the chocolate alef-beys shaped cookies looked quite appetising. Witnesses saw him grab one, and put it in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. A few minutes later he was playing an alphabet game with the birthday girl and her friends, everyone was either dizzy or ditsy, and they were all having a lot of drunk fun, playing alef-beys drinking games, until HE FUCKING EXPLODED. Thinking it was a prank, or a re-enactment of the marking of the doorway entrances at Passover, the kids continued playing the game, even though his intestines were in the way, and everything was dripping with blood and other fluids.

The autopsy, whatever was left to autopsy at least, and the following crime scene investigation, showed the cause of death was the shape of the cookies reacting with his Gentile stomach acids, causing him to fucking explode. Found embedded in the wall along with several stones that appeared to be fool's gold were a few bits and pieces of rusty chains and cogs, along with some motor oil stains. It is speculated that the cookie contained a combination of wild horseradish concentrated extract, grape wine, one cup of kosher salt, pickled lox, habanero mint jelly chocolate chips, and gefilte fish ghost jelly. One thing is for certain: the cookie most certainly did not contain any cheese, as the main dish was roast lamb, with a side of matzo.

A shakey image of the cookies taken by a gentile photographer with fear, he did not dare touch them or come too close.

This guy exploded from a fucking alphabet cookie. A COOKIE! Paqui One's alphabet - in this case Alef-Beys, cookies are dangerous to certain people: those who have Gentile stomachs. Maybe if they ate the other cookies, they wouldn't have this minor symptom.

As you can see the Jewish people at the party had the stomachs to handle the cookie, since they can handle drinking wine, eating lots of raw horseradish, eating enough salt to kill a horse, and eating gefilte fish every other Friday night.