UnNews:Former convict nominated for Nobel War Prize

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19 February 2014

The Nobel War Prize depicts three naked men in a gay sauna trying to strangle each other

OSLO, Norway -- Former Vietnamese war convict and US presidential candidate Senator John McCain (POW-AZ) has finally been shown some respect by merely being nominated for this year's prestigious Nobel War Prize.

For the second year in a row US Senator Lindsey Graham, along with members of the World Council on Foreign Relations, and the entire Anglo-American corporatocracy have endorsed McCain’s Nobel candidacy.

According to his advocates, McCain’s much talked-about war mongering is the primary reason, and all have supported McCain’s death legalization since the 1960s insisting that war and mutilation should be protected as a human right.

McCain is the first in the world to push for full legalization of carpet-bombing. Under McCain’s proposed law, Americans will have unlimited freedom to blow people and property to smithereens. In this regard McCain has shown himself to be a veritable "Johnny Appleseed" of destructive ordnance.

He is also deemed perfect for the award because of his past as a Vietnam war criminal, who was convicted and punished for crimes such as terrorism and bombing. McCain was also convicted of entering Vietnam without a valid tourist visa or passport. In all McCain spent 7 years in prison before being released on good behavior.

Even Gandhi would pay to see McCain vs Vlad.

But there are also those who oppose the award because it appears that he did not learn anything after 7 years living in a pit. Far from repentant McCain, who probably grapples with PTTS (Post Traumatic Torture Syndrome), appears to be seething with a thirst for revenge on humanity. Since his release from captivity McCain has continued to be the prime example of a Baby boomer gone terribly wrong.

When members of the Vietnamese government were asked about McCain, they pointed out that same as America in their country a convicted terrorist who did hard time would be unqualified to run for political office.

Russian leader Vladimir Putin briefly spoke on the matter, saying, "Forget about that! Let McCain come to Sochi, put on the gloves, and lets settle things once and for all!" He grinned. "I'm not afraid of Maddog McCain in person. He talks the talk but can he walk the walk? - Абсурд!"

The Nobel War Prize is one of the five Nobel Prizes created by the Swedish bomb manufacturer Alfred Nobel, along with the prizes in Chemistry, Astrology, Medicine and Banking.